FullMetal Alchemist at crazy wild party!
by Athiriel
Summary: FullMetal Alchemist, all getting so wasted xD Enjoy, and remember to review! You're also welcome to tell wishes for in what direction the storie should take. Rated T for language.
1. Karaoke, harem and table issues

**Karaoke, harem and table issues.**

"You know its trueee! Everything I dooo! I do it for YOOOU!!" The Lieutenant and alchemist screamed in the micro. Al laughed nervously of all the side looks him and Roy got, though Roy didn't seem to care, since he was much drunker than any other in the room. "Goo Rizszszsa!" He yelled drunkly, ended the bottle he had in his hand. "Hey! What about me?!" Edward yelled at Mustang in the micro. Al jumped in his chair, surprised of the sudden loud sound, but everyone else was to drunk to care.

"You sound tone-deaf! Riza is the one who got the talent!"  
"Why thank you sir!"  
"What?!" Edward started angrily.

"But you're a damn good dancer!" Roy said, and grabs another bottle of alcohol.

"That was better!" Edward jumped of the stage and walked towards Roy, Al and the bar. On the way he passed Havoc and his new harem on twelve girls.

At the bar he grabbed a bottle and started to drink it. "So I'm not a good dancer?" Riza, who also had reached the bar, said. "Not as good as the FullMetal, but you have the nicest ass " The black haired said. Edward stared at Roy, and Riza blushed madly and went away to hide it. Roy looked at Ed with a smirk.

"Don't look at me like that. Your ass is freaking hot too, but if I sssaid that out loud I would sssound like some perv." Roy said, a little out of control with the "s" words.

"You just did…" Al mumbled.

"Yearh, like I was worried about that! Everyone know that _my_ ass is me most wonderful thing in the wide world, right Al?"

Al looked at his brother and moved awkwardly. "I think I better go home…"  
"But you haven't tasted the beautiful taste of alcohol!" Roy whined.

"I'm too young, sorry." Al excused.

"I drive you!" Edward said happy. "No!" Al yelled. Roy and Ed looked strange at him. "I… I want to walk home…" Al ran out the door.

Ed sighed. "Aaaaw, I really wanted to take a drive…" But Roy didn't hear, because he was out to find Riza.

A sudden crash filled the room.

"Envy your idiot!"

"Help! Help! We're having table issues!"

Ed looked where the crash come from, and saw Greed laying on his stomach on a totally destroyed table and Envy laying on his back on Greed in a very strange position. Envy had a rather confused face expression, which looked hilarious.

"When did the f'cking world turn upside-down?!"

"Get off me you green haired freak!" Greed yelled and then screamed in pain, when Envy hit him with a fist in the side.  
"What's wrong with a simple please?!"  
"Shut up you little bitch!"  
"What was that?" Envy got himself up, but still sitting on Greed. He placed his knees on Greed arms, so he wasn't able to push him off.  
"That isn't a way to talk to somebody." Envy lectured, but strange enough Greed didn't seem to pay attention, since he was to busy yelling and swearing. Envy shocked his head.

"Greed, you aren't enough happy! And we're at a party! Everybody should be happy! We got free alcohol after all!" But Greed kept on yelling, and as the nice creature Envy is, he knocked out the other sin, so he didn't ruin the party. Envy looked at the unconscious Greed. "Gotta make him happier… Maybe..?" Envys face lightened up, and he grabbed Greed and dragged him out to the bathroom.

Ed shucked his head, and took another sip from his bottle. From the corner of his sight he saw Havoc dump down on the chair next with a depressed face expression. Edward looked like a question mark, as he looked at him. Few moments ago he had sit like a pimp, laughing all over the place with at least three girls under every arm. "My girls ditched me…" Havoc said depressed. "For **Mustang**!" Edward looked over, where Havoc had sit before, now seeing the Colonel be the new laughing pimp, with some new girls who had joined the harem. Without a word Edward reached his bottle to Havoc, who took it and start drinking with the bottom in the air. Edward stood up and decided to just randomly walk a little around.

He came to a table, where Lust, Rose and Winry were sitting. While Rose and Lust were chatting, Winry had her head down to the table, with a giant glass of beer in one hand, and looked pretty much gone. Edward walked towards them. "Hey guys." "Hey FullMetal boy." "Hey Edo." Edward looked a little at Rose. "Where's you child Rose?" "He's home of course! I'm not a terrible mother!" Rose said. Lust lifted her glass with tequila and looked at it. "Yet, you rather would be sitting here, getting totally drunk, than being home and take care of your child." She said and took a sip of the alcohol. Rose looked angrily at Lust, ready to defence herself but Ed interrupted. "I saw Greed and Envy, but where are the other sins Lust?" He asked. "Sloth had to take Wrath home, since he didn't want to leave." Lust sighed. A little while ago, Wrath had tried to convince them all, that he could drink alcohol, because it wouldn't harm him, since he was already death. "Pride is screwing around somewhere on the dance floor with Gluttony." "Oh…" Edward looked over at the dance floor, where he saw in the middle Pride do the robot and – to his horror – Gluttony do some sort of belly dance.

Lust looked at Ed face expression. "Yearh, I know… I hope I get so drunk that I can't remember it tomorrow." She said, and ended her drink. Edward looked at Winry. "Looks like she's pretty gone already, huh?" Suddenly – as for contradict his words – Winry suddenly lifted her glass and slammed it down in the table, making them all jump. "You're such a… berk…" She went a little silent, before she corrected her self "… jerk Edward!" "What did I do now?!" Edward asked clueless. Winry looked up, sending him the worst death glare. "Who is Noa?!" Lust and Rose looked at Ed, curios to know it too. "Uhm… Gotta go!" and off the blonde went!

Where will Edward run?

What will Envy do to Greed?

Will Havoc ever get his girls back?

And are All really already out of the story?

Don't miss the next chapter! See you soon!

* * *

**Ed:** When you said you would like to hear ideas and wishes for the story, did you… Did you then also mean yaoi?  
**Me:** Don't really now… Never really looked or maked it before, so I really don't know how bad it is.

**Envy:** You freaked when you once saw a pic with me and Ed… (Note! So did I!)

**Me:** That was because I don't want you to be with others, Envy! If I can't have you, no one may!

**Ed: **Why do you love Envy more than me?! Before _he _camed in to our lifes, you where all over me! WHY?!

**Me:** Noo Ed, I still love you! I swear!

**Envy:** She lying Chibii

**Ed: **SHUT UP!! _storms away_  
**Me:** No Ed, don't go!!

**Envy:** Leaving me?  
**Me: **Uhm, I… _looks after Ed and at Envy_ WRAAARGH!! _runs away_

Envy: …


	2. New hair, spanking and hospital

**New hair, spanking and hospital**

A suddenly big BANG come over from the door too the bathroom.

"GET BACK HERE YOU ROTTEN PALMTREE!"

The crowed moved away as Envy ran through with the spike haired homunculus right after him

"_Haha!_ Never, come and catch me if you can!" Envy yelled over his shoulder, laughing hysterical.

He jumped gracefully over a table, which was standing in the way. Greed jumped – less gracefully – after.

"Just wait to I get my hands on you!"

"Why are you so mad?!"

"You dyed my hair freaking PINK!"

To Greeds surprise – this is why he froze – Envy actually stopped and turned around to face Greed. He had a big proud smile on his face.

"Yes, and aren't you pretty?"

Greeds face turned red in anger. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!"

The shape shifter smirked "Oh reeally?" He said and Greed got in to possession, ready to attack, Envy got into a fighting stance preparing for him.

"You two, cut it out! You're ruin the party!" A much ignored voice said. "Yearh, tell Greed that!" Envy said. After all, all Envy had tried to do was to make that unthankful sin happier, so he didn't ruin the party.

Greed looked at the voice, facing a pissed off Dante. "Look what he did to me!" He screamed. Dante took a look on Greed and then she looked at Envy.

"What are you going to say to your defence, young man?" She asked.

"Well…"

Envy didn't get to say anything more because Greed was laughing to loud.

"What's so funny, you pimp?" Envy asked, ignored because Greed interrupted his fabulous defence speak.

"Y-young ma-man!" Greed managed to say. Envy lifted a eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're not fcking young!"

"Excuse me?! Are you saying I'm old?!" Envy asked, starting to get pretty much pissed off. Dante couldn't help to chuckle a little. Envy glared at her from the corner of his eye. _Bitch. We'll see who's laughing when she finds out that Wrath and I used all her shampoo. _

"Yes you are! Or… well, at least when you aren't compared to Dante."

Dante stopped her chuckle a medially, while Envy was forcing with himself not to burst out in laugher. Dante started to look more and more like a red balloon. She grabbed Greed and dragged him to the exit.

"Wha… What the hell are you doing?"

"You're going home! And then I'm going to give you some serious _spanking!_"

"Nooo!!"

The whole party literally frozed for five minutes, while everybody imagined Dante spanking Greed. Some laughed, other just chuckled. Then there was them who got scared for life and those who started crying.

Armstrong was obviously one of them who cried.

"Poor man! Trying so hard strong, but loses his guard to a women."

Then he of course ripped of his shirt and started to flex his muscle. Those who where around him hold they're breath, waiting for the muscle-talking about how Armstrongs super strength could save the world.

But instead the big man felled – crying more than ever – on his knees. People started to ask what was wrong.

"I-I'm s-so – _sniff_ - drunk I c-ca-can come up with a speech!" The big guy cried out.

Then a few people took him to the hospital, convinced that Armstrong must had been taking to much and was close to die.

Have I really kicked also Greed, Dante and Armstrong out of the storie?

What will Envy now do?

Will Armstrong survive?

What are Ed doing?

Will I ever write a chapter to answer all these quiestions?

Don't miss the next chapter!

* * *

**Me: **HAHA!! I'm back!!

**Ed: **... Where have you been?  
**Me:** In loovely Austria!!

**Ed:** Oooh.. How was it?  
**Me:** Great!! But somebody stole my wallet :(  
**Ed:** Aaaaw... :(

**Me:** Yearh, but the police was reaally nice

_Envy looks at Greed._

**Envy: **Think I know who did it...

**Greed:** Wha-what?!  
**Me:** BASTARD!! GIVE ME BACK MY WALLET!!

_runs after Greed_

**Ed:** ...

**Envy:** Sooo... What should we be doing?  
**Ed: **Read reviews?  
**Envy: **We don't freaking have any!!


	3. Penguin, jeans and the back room!

**Penguin, jeans and the back room!**

Edward sat at the end of the bar again. And drinking... Again. He wanted to avoid Winry a little. If he got another wrench smashed to his head, he might pass out. He looked out in the air, while drinking without thinking about it. How should he explain about Noah? She wasn't even at the party...

Edward was so deep in his thoughts, he didn't notice a sudden green haired sin walking right to him. Envy had seen how much Edward had drinked, and decided to randomly stop him. Hell, that chibi shouldn't drink it all, when Envy himself barely had gotten enough!

Envy grabbed Edward. Ed looked surprised at Envy, and then realized what was going on.

"More! Just one more!"  
"No FullMetal-boy! You had enough!"

The green haired boy dragged the blond away from the bar, towards the back room.

"Please?" Edward continued.  
"No."  
"Pretty please?"  
"No!"

"Evil palm tree-bastard!"  
"Microscopic pipsqueak shrimp!"

And Edward exploded.

"WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-A-FULLMETAL-PIPSQUEAK-WHO-CAN'T-EVEN-TAKE-A-SHOWER-BECAUSE-HE-WOULD-RAN-TRHOUGH-THE-RIST-WITH-ALL-THE-OTHER-WATER?!"

Envy smirked.

"You " He pured.

"Don't do it!"

"And what if I do?"

Edward gave the sin a big drunk smile.

"Then I'll hide ALL your shampoo!"

Envy gasped and glared at Ed.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Yes I would!"

Envy looked a little at the young man.

"... Do you even know where I take a shower?"

Edward bended his neck and let his nose proudly raise up to the ceiling. "_Ha!_ That's no problem! I just stalk you!"

Envy looked weired at the blonder. "But you're a terrible stalker!" He said.  
"How would you know? You never caught me!"  
"I did last Friday!"

Edward smiled again.

"Ooh, but you didn't when I stalked you to Toys R'us."

Envy froze and stared at the alchemist.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" He said, trying to save himself.

"Sure you do! You bought a penguin-"

"I-it was for Wrath!"

"- and then you hugged it and smiled..."

"I saw you in Vero Moda!!"

Now it was Edward who froze. Envy grinned an evil grin, happy that he now had taked over.

"You got some pretty nice jeans."  
"It was for Winry!"  
"Doesn't explain why you tried them on." Envy teased.

Edward blushed madly.

"Pervert! It's one thing to stalk people! It's a whole other thing to spy on them when theyy're trying clothes!"

Envy's eyes got big and Edward got confused.

"... What?" He asked.  
"You... actually tried them?"

Ed got even more confused. "You just said..."

"I was joking! Oh my... This is hilarious!" The sin busted out and started to laugh.

"Shut up!!" Edward yelled, but of course the sin continued.

"Haha!! Oh no – haha – I think I'm going to die! xD"

Edward was getting really pissed.  
"Let me help you!"

But before Edward could attack – and Envy could kick his ass – they got interrupted, when the back-back door (yes, the door in the back room, who leads out) flew open.

"Hi!!"

Who is this person?

How long can Envy and Ed stay together without killing each other?

Did Edward get some nice pants?

Don't miss the next chapter!

* * *

**Me:** Look what I wrote in Austria!

**Ed: **Are you sick or something?!  
**Me:** Why do you complain now?! If you wanted to complain, you could have done earlier at the karoke!

**Envy: **Who is the person?  
**Me:** You'll find out

**Ed&Envy:** DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!

**Me: **Wh-what?

**Ed: **It's with all the other chapters! You never tell what happen next, you just write something else!  
**Envy:** Yearh! We'll never find out! This suck!  
**Me:** ... So it suck, huh?  
**Ed: **(Envy your idiot..)  
**Me: **Well, why don't I just let you two DIE out there?!  
**Envy:** Nooo!! I don't want the chibi to be the last thing I see!

**Me: **Then don't mess with the author!!

**Ed: **Why are you so mad?  
**Me:** I WANT REVIEWERS!!


	4. Guns and plungers

**Guns and plungers.**

I deep high laugh filled the room.

"Haha ladies, stop." "That tickles"

A lot of giggles.

"Now ladies – haha – remove those feathers and get off my lap. I really have to go now."  
"Aaaaw, but Mustang can't you please stay?" The harem girls begged, and tickled Roy a little more with there feathers. Roy laughed again.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"

Roy and the girls froze, then slowly turned their heads toward the voices...

It was Riza and Havoc.

Riza was with a gun and Havoc with a plunger in their hands.

Havoc pointed his plunger at the group.

"The womens gets off the Colonel!" He commanded. Riza backed him up, with pointing her gun at them

"You heard the man."

The women got away and Roy sat in his chair, rather uncomfortable. He tried to sneak away... Which was a rather idiotic try, since the attention was on him xD  
Riza pointed her gun at Mustang.

"And where do you think you're going sir?" She asked.

The last word 'sir' gave Roy an idea. He straited up and turned toward Riza and Havoc.

"I am the Colonel! You two can't boss me around! I order you to-" He stopped when Havoc also pointed his weapon – the plunger – at him.

Both Riza and Havoc smirked.

"Please sir, you're really not in the right situation to give out orders." Riza said.

Havoc moved away, over to his reconquered harem. "His all yours Riza." He said, and laid an arm around on of the girls and walked away. The whole harem giggled and was all over Havoc. "Ooooh, I love a man who fights for his right." One of the harem girls said.

Roy and Riza just stood there like two sculptures. Around them the party was still going on.

Roy gave a nervous laugh.

"Y-you know Riza... I-I wanted to get away from the girls, to look after you and-"  
"But yet you didn't.." Riza said coldly, still pointing her gun at his head.

Roy's face was going a little more pale.

"I... I..."  
"What you have done sir, can not be redone. Which is why you must get punished for your actions." Riza said seriously. Roy looked confused, but it didn't stop him to slightly think dirty thoughts in the back of his head (**A/N:** Pervert! xD)

"What do you mean?"

"This."

And Riza pulled the tricker.

Roy frozed, as cold water splashed all over him. Then he screamed.

"Noooo!! Un-perfumed water!! It's washing my sexy sent away! NOOOO!!"

He tried desperately to cover himself and backing away, saving as much as he could at his 'sexy sent', but Riza was heartless.

But the water had to come to an end. At that time Mustang was laying on the ground. Riza looked down at him.

"And what have we learned?"

"Do not steal Havoc's harem, when he probably never will meet a woman who isn't a tomato or potato... Whatever that means." (**A/N: **Get it? From the episode with the meeting with Armstrong sister? xD)

"Aaand..?"

"Riza rules."

"That's better." Riza packed away her gun, aka water pistol.

Roy got up and started to laugh.  
"But it really doesn't matter, since I'm going to start my one harem when I'm going to be Fuhrer!" He said.

Riza turned to say something – probably something to crash Roy's dream – but then Roy had swunged his arm around her neck.

"But you will be my favorite among them all." He said in her ear. Riza blushed.

Roy smirked. Now she at least didn't seem so mad anymore.

"May I offer the favorite a drink?"

Riza could only nod, and so the walked over to bar.

When the received the drinks Riza said "I'm going to need another one?"

"Huh? Why? Isn't it the ri-WAAH!!" Roy didn't get to say anymore, because he had gotten Riza's drink all over him.

"I will never join a harem." She said calmly and asked for another drink.

Will Riza ever get her drink?

Are Roy's hair ruined for good?

Will I ever write what happened to Envy and Ed?

Don't miss the next chapter!

* * *

**Me:** How I HATE this chapter!!  
**Roy: **Why?! I think it was good. I was in it.

**Me:** It was boring as hell!! I only write fun, when I'm bored. And I'm NOT! And why aren't Envy and Ed here?!  
**Riza:** They're mad, because you didn't write who the 'mysterious person' was in this chapter. Plus, they're wandering around with signs with the text: We were right.

**Me: **_snort _Idiots... Anyway, I'm really sorry for this chapter. I did my best...

**Roy: **It IS good! Because I was in i-

**Me: **Shut it!! Riza, go get him!!  
**Roy: **Noooo!!


	5. Glaring battle, pervert and hunting

**Glaring battle, pervert and hunting.**

Envy and Ed stared at the door, that had flew open.

"What's up! Missed me?" The person said hyper.

Envy and Ed just stared.

Then Envy finally spoke.

"Wrath...?"  
"Hell yeah!" The slightly hyper (yearh right xD) boy said.

"What the f'ck are you doing here?!"

Ed broke in.

"You're here to get alcohol, aren't you?"

"You damn right I am!"

Envy raised an eyebrow. "What did Sloth say to that?"

Wrath smiled a big smile. "Mommy fall asleep, so she actually didn't say that much."  
Envy growled. "Typical Sloth. She's never seems to be lazy, but of course when it's something so important like keeping Wrath away-"

"You can't take alcohol! You're too young!" Ed said in protest.  
Wrath gave him a glare.

"You're not the boss of me!!" He screamed. Envy covered his ears, since he was the one who was closes to Wrath.  
"Oooow..! Wold you stop always screaming around me!" Envy snared, though Wrath didn't seem to care that much. He was still glaring at Ed, and Ed must have taked it like a challenge, because he was glaring back.

Glaring...

Glaring...

Envy transformed into a random sportscaster

"And the game have begun! Both contesters give their maddest glare! Wow, how exiting! You've never seen a glaring battle like this!"

Ed and Wrath ignored Envy, since they both had their eyes on the goal. To win!

Didn't seem like Envy wanted to let that continue.

"Amazing! Wonder if they would be able to look in each eyes, if they knew that Sloth had told Wrath about Ed's bed wetting problem when he was younger, or Ed saw Wrath when he was being punched to death by Elysia!"

The glaring battle suddenly broke, and Ed and Wrath both turned their heads quickly at Envy.

"That's not true!!" They both screamed.  
Envy transformed back, with a smirk on his face.

"Oh? Then just continue the glaring battle." He said.

But Ed and Wrath couldn't look each other in the eyes.  
Envy lifted his eyebrows. Had he actually been right??

Envy then made that discover, that Ed looked rather mad.

"WhaAaat?" Envy asked innocently.

"You are so immature! And you are over four hundred years!!" Ed exploded.

Envy shrugged.

"You're as young as you feel, Chibi-san."

"I think I'm gonna hide your shampoo anyway!"  
Envy stared with shocked eyes at Ed. Then it turned out to a mad glare – maybe they should call the back room for; the room of glaring!

"Then I'll just never leave my bathroom! I will take a shower all the time!"  
"Like that's going to stop me!"

Envy eyes widen, and Ed slapped a hand over his mouth after realizing what he just said.  
"I-I didn't..."  
"I knew it!! You're are an 100 pervert!! I knew it wasn't an accident, when you squeezed Psiren's boobs!"

Ed blushed madly.

"It was only the one of them!! And please don't remind me of that!"

"Uuuuh, preetty door..."

Envy and Ed both raised amused their eyebrows. Who of them said that and why?

Then they remembered Wrath. They turned around, to see Wrath had disappeared and the door to the party was open.

"Oh shit..." Ed almost whispered. Envy did the exact opposite thing.

"HE IS GOING TO TAKE ALL THE ALCOHOL!" He roared.

Ed maked a shocking face.  
"NO! We gotta stop him!"  
"Let the hunt begin!!"

Will Wrath get his alcohol?  
Is Envy and Ed able to stop him?

And is Ed really a pervert?  
And will the glaring battle ever have a rematch?

Don't miss the next chapter!

* * *

**Me: **I've lost my humor...

**Wrath:** Yes!! I'm in the storie! But... That with Elysia-?!

**Me:** _-snickers-_ What?

**Envy: **Great... Now we have another alcohol abuser. Like Ed wasn't enough! All the glorious alcohol will be wasted!

**Ed:** What the... Why are you just standing there?! Get him!!

**Envy:** Oh, right!  
**Wrath:** _-has already taked off-_

**Me: **... I feel like I don't have that much to say anymore... Oh wait! _-runs after Envy and Ed-_ WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT WANDERING AROUND WITH SIGNS ABOUT YOU WERE RIGHT?! I DEMMAND AND APOLOGIZE!!

**Ed:** WTF?! What are we going to do?!

**Envy:** Just run! Your short legs aren't going to slack me off!

**Ed: **WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING

See ya!!


	6. Greetings and the mysterious alcohol

**Greetings and the mysterious alcohol.**

"Is it Hannah?"

Havoc tried to hush the one of the many womens from his harem.

She didn't listen.

"Say hello from me!"

Havoc didn't do so, since he were trying to end the conversation on the phone.

The woman didn't give up that easily.

"Say hello! Say hello! Is it Hannah?!" She said rather loud.

Havoc tried to hush her down again.

"Say hello! Say hello! Say hello! **Hellooo!!**" She said louder and louder. Havoc turned off the phone.

"Nooo, why didn't you say hello from me?!" The woman said disappointed. Havoc patted on her heard.

"Because I don't want your mother to know you're here sweety."

**--**

Meanwhile, Roy sad a little grumpy at the bar desk. Riza had gone somewhere – maybe over to Lust – and he were now alone. And really drunk.

A man walked by, as he were getting his jacket on.

He turned to Roy with a smile.

"Well, I'm of to home now. Say hello from me to people around you." He said happily.

"And what wanna you do then? You just wanna sit at home and stare video while I'm screwing around and play your ambassador today, huh?" Roy said annoyed and glared at the man.

The man looked slightly confused. Roy just continued.

"Want me to wander around in the white world, keeping a eye on who you know? 'Hello, do you know one who is named Thomas? You do? Great, then I should say hello.' 'Hello, do you know one who is named Thomas? No? Then it was nothing.' "

The poor man didn't know what he should say, so he started to go to the exit. To his horror Mustang followed him.

"You could at least give me a phone book, so I know how many you know!"

The man start to run a little. So did Mustang.

"**Don't run when I'm talking to you!**" He roared, as the other guy speed up.

The man and Mustang passed Envy and Ed who just stared a little after them.

Then Ed sighed.

"Oh, not again..."

"I don't even wanna know..." Envy said. He looked around.

"Come on! We have to find that little brat!"  
Ed looked around in the room.  
"Well, at least some people a going home now, so it might be a little easy..."  
"Easy? Easy?! Here's still over hundreds of people!!" Envy said frustrated.

"True... But if he is going after the alcohol, then he must be heading to it..."

"Great! Then show the way."

Ed looked at Envy.

"You don't know where it is?" Ed asked the sin.

Envy stared.

"I thought you did?"  
"No, then I would be there now!" Ed claimed. Envy looked thoughtful.

"Well, the alcohol must come from somewhere... The bartender must know. Let's go!" He grabbed the shorter one and dragged him for second time away.

"Yo!" Envy said to the bartender.  
"Yes gentleman's?"  
"Where do they come from?" Envy asked.

"What?"  
"You know what I'm talking about! Tell me the mystery! **TELL ME NOW**!" Envy said, rather desperate. Ed sweat dropped.

The bartender couched.

"I'm not sure this stand in the job description... How babies are made..."  
"NO!" Ed interrupted.

"He were talking about the alcohol!"

"Oh I see!" The bartender laughed.

"Well, I don't know."

"... What?" Envy and Ed said.

"I'm just the bartender. The alcohol just comes and comes, and never stops. It's amazing. A true mystery."

Envy looked like he wanted to scream or cry.

"Your not helping!! Come on!" Again, he dragged Ed away.

"We have to find Wrath before it's to late!"

"Would you stop dragging me around?!"

--

Will Envy and Ed find Wrath before it's to late?

Is Envy kind of overprotecting about the alcohol?

Will Mustang get Thomas' phone book?

Don't miss the next chapter!!

* * *

**Me: **Haha, this was funny to write. None of the FMA characters will comment this time. They're all to busy right now xD

**Havoc:** I'm not.

**Me: Aaaah Havoc!**

**Havoc:** Wanna join my harem?? :D

**Me: **Uuuhm... No... You do now it probably will be gone when the party ends?

**Havoc:** That's why I have to make it the biggest in the world, as long as it last!!  
**Me:** I see... Do you know where Hughes is?  
**Havoc:** I know he is around...

**Me: **Uh! Must find him in the next chapter!!


	7. Gifts, fish tank and pregnant?

**Gifts, fish tank and... pregnant?**

"No Envy! Not that way!"

"What the hell is your problem?" Envy asked, not stopping.

Poor Ed couldn't get out of the sins grip.

"Your walking towards the girls!"  
"So? Lust is smart, so she might now where the alcohol is living!"

"Yearh, but Winry is weird! And I'm afraid she might throw her wrench at me!"

Ed pressed his legs to the floor, not wanting to come any closer.

Envy snorted annoyed.

"Well, you've been hit by that thing so many times, that there's probably not anymore brains cells to harm, so suck it up!"

With those words Envy again dragged Ed towards the girls.

**--**

The girls – except the girls of Havoc's harem – was standing at a loong table. They were looking at the present the host had gotten.

"Who is the freaking host anyway?" Winry asked, who had gotten a little more 'awake'.

"Ghost?!" Rose freaked.  
"Host, for crying out loud!"

"Ooooh..."

Lust sighed.

"Don't know... Nobody has seen the host..." She said thoughtful.

"Lust!" Envy called. Lust turned to see who was calling.

But Envy had trouble with coming to her, since Edward was trying to go the other way.

Envy got annoyed.  
Who knew how far Wrath had gone by now?!

"Look, your little-"

_"__WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-SO-SHORT-THAT-THEY-THINK-A-HERB-GARDEN-IS-A-FOREST?_!"

"I did!"

"Why you-!"

"Now you listen to me!" Envy grabbed Ed's shoulders and shaked him.

"If we don't stop Wrath, he's gonna do something terrible with the alcohol! Do you know what that is?"

Ed got a frighten look on his face when reality (**A/N: **Oooh, feel the irony here xD) hit him in the face.

"Please, don't say it..."

"He's gonna drink it all! And if he doesn't like it, he sure just pure it out on the floor and wasting it! Did you hear me?! Wasting it!!" Envy talked tone of a sergant who is talking to a soldier in the battle field.

Ed gasped.

"We gotta stop him!" And Ed rushed to the girls, but was ran over by Envy who was a little too eager to find the alcohol.

**--**

Lust had turned to the gift table again, when the calling of her name had stopped.

"Oooh, look!" Rose said.

"It's a fish tank!" Winry said amused.

"So it is." Lust said. All three girls looked through the glass with big eyes.

"Fish a cool." Rose stated.

Winry suddenly started to giggle.

"What?" Lust asked.

"I'm thinking sushi..."

"Lust!!" Envy called again.

Lust turned around.

"Hello Envy and FullMetal boy. Nice of you to drop by us again."

"Hello Envy and Ed!!" Rose and Winry said loud, but didn't turn around. They where far to amused of the fish tank.

"Lust, we need to ask you something really important! Do you think your sober enough to give real informations?" Envy asked.

In the background Ed had turned his attention to Winry and Rose.  
He walked over to them.

"What are you looking at?"

"Well Envy, as you might would have remembered, if you hadn't been so wasted,-"

**--**

(In the background).

"Cool, fish!" Edward said amused.

**--**

"- I don't get drunk that easy. So yes, I think I'm capable to give you the information you want. That said, if I have it."

**--**

(In the background)

"Yearh! Look look, there's a loricariidae too! (1)"

**--**

"Where does the alcohol come from?" Envy asked, for the second time.

Lust looked at him for a little, with thoughtful eyes.

Envy waited for the answer. The thoughtful look in Lust's eyes... She must know!

"I'm not sure if I should tell you this. Since I'm the only one here, who can control my abuse of alcohol, I am one of the few who has been trusted this information..." She said.

Envy was about to explode!

Someone who actually knew where the alcohol came from! (In the background Ed, Rose and Winry was still looking amazed at the fish, and talked about them a little).

"Please tell me Lust! It's really important!"  
Lust noticed the

"It is..." She started.

"HOLY SHIT! THE LORICARIIDAE IS DEAD!! (2)"

Lust and Envy turned to the trio.  
"... What?" Lust asked.

Envy leaned closer – forgetting about the real problem for a moment. After all, this was sudden death we're talking about.

"It's dead!" Edward yelled again.

"Oh no!" Rose said dramatically.

"NOO!" Envy yelled. "I brought that one!"

"You brought a freaking loricariidae as host gift?!" Winry said.

"What is wrong with that?!"  
"It's just a stupid gift! Especially if it's dead!"  
"It's not a stupid gift! You guys was rather amused about it!"  
"I was amused about the other fish! The ones who is alive!"

Envy glared at Winry and growled. He turned to Edward, who was being patted on the shoulder by Rose, since he went a little in shock of the sudden death of the animal.

"Ed!" Envy said out loud.

"What?"  
"Revive the loricariidae from the death!"

They all went quiet.

Then Ed finally spoke.

"Serious?"  
"Yes, I'm f'cking serious!"

"You want me to make the loricariidae to a... Homunculus?"

"Hell yearh!"

Ed looked a little at the fish tank.

"No!" He then said.

"Why not?!"

"Because it's against the laws"  
"Well, it didn't stop you once!"  
"I don't want to loose anything!"  
"What could you possible lose? A middle finger?" Envy asked annoyed.

Ed looked a little at his middle finger.

"But if that is too precious for you, you can always sacrifice the crazy blond"  
"No way!" Winry snarled.  
Envy looked a little at her.

"Though it wouldn't be that much of a sacrifice, would it now?"

Winry snorted.

"If you boys only are here to be annoying, then scram." She growled.

"Oh right!" Ed outbursted, when he remembered the reason they went over here.

"Envy, did Lust tell you?"  
"Oh crap!" Envy turned around. "Lust, I..."

She was gone.

"Where the hell is she?!" Envy yelled, as he scanned the room. Ed joined to help. Winry was busy poking to the loricariidae with her wrench.

"She can't just disappear." Ed mumbled.

"Oh, she didn't." Rose informed them.

The boys turned to her.

"Well? Where did she went?" Envy asked a little impatient.

"She got kidnapped." Rose said.

"WHAT?!" Envy and Ed yelled.

"Yearh. A man walked over and kidnapped her. Rather weird..."

"Why didn't you say anything?!" Envy yelled desperately. He had been so close. So close to know the secret. So close to know where his loved once was. So close to be able to safe them... If it wasn't because he was so evil, he would cry!

"Well, we had a death case! I thought that was a little bit more important!" Rose defended herself.

**Boing!**

Ed dropped down the floor.

"Aaaaw!" He yelled, as a big lump grew out of his head.

Winry bent down to the floor, picked up her wrench up... And just walked away.

Ed stared after her. What on earth had he done?  
"What the hell Winry-!"  
"Come on! Where getting nowhere here!" Envy said and dragged Ed up to his feet.

"But Winry-" Ed started but was cut off by Envy.  
"It's just hormones! Maybe she's pregnant or stuff."

Ed's eyes grew big.

"P-pregnant? That's-"

"I don't care!" Envy cut off again.

"I don't like her! She's also just drinking the wonderful alcohol, not even thinking about to enjoy it! Not let's move on, before Wrath finds it!"

And with those words, Envy walked in a high speed away. Ed actually had to run after him.

And Rose?  
Well... Not sure, but I think she went over to see find out what a harem was (xD).

Will Envy and Ed actually make it?

How far has Wrath comed?

How long is Lust going to be gone?

Is Winry really pregnant?

And is Rose joining Havoc's harem?

Don't miss the next chapter!

* * *

**(1)** Now, here I must say that the English language actually disappointed me! In my language a 'loricariidae' isn't just called 'loricariiadae!' We have a much more funnier name! A 'sugemalle'. Translated: a suck-catfish.

... Anyway, it just sound funnier... xD

**(2)** This is true. Happened yesterday. My sisters birthday, and they gave her a fish tank. Then somebody suddenly yelled this, and everybody just went panicking. They were so wasted... Might be there I get some of my inspiration xD But no no, the suck-catfish (it's named that now!) it alive now xD

* * *

**A/N:** I'm under attack of a HUGHES writers block, so please... Don't be hard to me... I'm doing my best, but it's just hard to write funny stories when your having a block!

**Ed:** Then you really shouldn't write...

**A/N:** Shut up...

**Envy:** Your really pushing it out! When the hell are we going to fin the alcohol?!

**A/N: **Well, I don't know!! This story wasn't even ment to have a plot!! It should just have been random shit I posted, but look at it now!! It got a plot, and I don't know where it's going!!

**Ed&Envy:** ...

**A/N:** ...  
**Envy:** This chapter sucks...

**A/N:** Stop pointing it out...

**Ed: **Hey!! Didn't you say Hughes was going to be in it?!

**A/N: **Oh noes!! Ed, be quiet!! _-runs away-_

**Envy:** ... Why the hell is she running away??


	8. Mental scaring, apologize and help

**Mental scaring, apologize and help.**

Ed and Envy was running. Really fast

"Why are we running again?" Edward yelled to Envy, trying to make himself heard above the high music.

"Because then we find Wrath faster!" Envy yelled back.

"Does it matter, when we don't even know where he is?" Ed asked yelling.

"Yes, it does!!"

"_**Everybody dance now!**_"

Envy and Ed stopped short and had funny expression on their face, like if a flying pie had just stopped and said hi.

"Was that... Gluttony?" Ed asked. Envy didn't answer, just pressed his palms to his temples.

"Oh dear God, not this..." He mumbled.

"_**Rock this party  
Dance everybody  
Make it hot in this party  
Don't stop, move your body**_"

Ed frowned a little on his eyebrows over King Bradly's voice, and moved his eyes to the karaoke machine.

His eyes began to twitch, when he saw Gluttony and King Bradly standing with both their micros, and singing the oh so classic song.

Edwards eyes was still twitching. "T-t-to wr-w-wro-o-ng..." He stuttered.

"Don't look at it." Envy said, but Ed was traumatized.

Envy grabbed Edwards arm, and moved them over to the bar.

He knew how much this kind of thing scarred one mental. Things like this was simply to wrong!

He pushed Edward down in a chair and Envy sat down beside him, facing the blond..

Ed didn't say anything. His eyes was wide open in horror.

"Oi..." Envy started. Ed didn't react.

"Oi!" Nothing.

"Oi pipsqueak, snap out of it!"

Score!!

"WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-A-FULLMETAL-PIPSQUEAK-WHO-HAS-TO-BE-SEEN-WITH-A-GIANT-STARGAZER-'CAUSE-HE'S-SO-MICROSCPIC-HE-CAN'T-EVEN-BE-SEEN-IF-HE-WAS-SHOWED-UP-IN-YOUR-EYES?!"

Envy lifted his eyebrows.

"Wow, that was a new one... And long too..."

Edward glared.

"Don't be so pissed! Or else I'll force you to look back on Gluttony and Pride!" Envy threated.

Eds glare stopped.

"So what now?" He asked.

Envy sighed.

"I don't know. Without Lust, it all seems a little hopeless..."

"What exactly did she say to you?" Ed asked.

"Well... Something about she shouldn't tell me where the alcohol his, since she is the only one who have been giving the information, because she can control her intaking of alcohol, and so on and on..." Envy said, while waving his hand lazily.

"Control her intaking of alcohol..." Ed said thoughtful. "Like Riza?"

Envy stared at Ed a little.

Then he looked relieved. Really really relieved. You could almost see the sparklings and hear the angels sing hallelujah.

Edward didn't know if he should be a little frightened.

Envy jumped up from his chair.  
"Come on, we gotta find her!"

**--**

Riza looked with a strict look on Roy.

"Sir... There will be moments in the future, where I'm not able to look after you..." She started patiently. Roy just growled a little.

"... and in those moments, I need you to behave. Do you understand that?"  
Roy looked a little at Riza before he nodded slowly.

"Yearh..."  
"Good. Now give this nice gentlemen his address book back."  
Roy growled again and handled Thomas his address book, without looking at him.

"And say sorry."

"Roy." Riza said in a warning tone.

"Sorry." Roy mumbled.

Riza smiled.  
"Very good sir." She turned to Thomas. "I'm really sorry about this. Usually he is able to control himself-"

"Hah!! That's a lie!"  
They all turned to the sound.

"And yet you somehow comes in bigger trouble FullMetal." Roy said.

Ed opened his mouth to give a respond, but received an elbow in the side from Envy.

"Remember why we're here."  
"Oh right... Riza, we need to talk to you."

Riza – who had just said goodbye to Roy's poor victim – turned.  
"What is it Edward?"  
"We-"  
"Hold on!" Roy interrupted.

Now, Envy was getting more and more frustrated by every second.

"WHAT?!" He screamed at the colonel. Roy didn't seem to care at all.

"Before we go on, then the answer is no." Roy said.

Ed raised an eyebrow.  
"No?" He asked.

Envy freaked

"You don't even what the freaking question is!!"

"Yes I do!" Roy said.  
"You two wanna ask Riza up to a dance! But it ain't going to happen! Riza may only dance with me, and since I wont dance, Riza is not going to dance at all!"

Ed, Envy and Riza stared a little at Roy. Then Riza couched a little.

"As flattering as it is, Colonel, I don't think that was the question they wanted to ask."  
"It wasn't?" Roy questioned.  
"No!" Envy and Ed.

"Oh... Then go on."

Ed sighed.

"Riza, where does the alcohol come from?"

Riza looked at the two boys for a while.

"How much do you know?" She then asked.  
"Not much..." Edward said.

"That's why we're freaking asking." Envy growled, and moved his feet just in time, before Ed had stepped on it.

"Why do you wanna know such a thing?" Riza asked.

And then Ed and Envy explained the whole problem with Wrath coming, running away and going to steal the alcohol.

After the explanation Riza nodded thoughtful. "I see..."

"Are you going to help us?" Envy asked, full of new hope.

Riza looked at them a little.

"I don't know... If this information comes in the wrong hands, it might go wrong."  
"But it will go wrong, if we don't stop Wrath! So please?" Ed said.

Riza thought more about. Then Roy decided to interfere.  
"Riza, you can't ignore this. We're talking about alcohol here! If I can get free alcohol, then I want as much as possible! And it's just sad that it might end on the floor."

Envy glared a little at the Colonel. Another alcohol abuser!

"I guess you're right sir..." Riza said.

Ed and Envy looked at Riza with big eyes.  
"You're going to tell us then?!" Envy asked in an eager tone.

"Not tell you, that's too dangerous."  
Ed and Envy looked confused and a little disappointed.

"But I'm going to show you."

Is Envy and Ed going to make it in time?

Is Riza really telling the truth?

Will Thomas get safe home?

And how many people will be effected of Gluttony and King Bradly/Pride's singing?

Don't miss the next chapter!

* * *

**Envy:** Booooriiing! Well... Expect for the karoke thing. That was just weird xD  
**Me: **That's what happens when I'm forced to hear anything else but rock!

**Ed: **I feel pain...

**Me: **Well, anyway I can tell you this was supposed to be boring.

**Envy:** It was?  
**Me:** Yes... 'Cause in next chapter something is going to happen!

**Ed&Envy:** What?!

**Me:** I'm not going to tell! What kind of author do you think I am?!

Candy is dandy, but reviewers are just better. So review!! (And tell me what the hell dandy means!)

See ya soon!


	9. Basement, battle and surprise

**Basement, battle and surprise.**

"Wow..." This was the only word the males could say.

"Here it is." Riza said.

Envy looked at her. "And you couldn't just say it was in the basement?" He asked.

"Well, technically it isn't just in the basement." Roy pointed out. "We're standing in front of a big door. And the big door leads to a room. So actually, it is in a room in the basement."

Envy stared at Roy. Then he turned to Ed and Riza.

"How do you two stand him?" He then asked.

"Shut up, you gender confused palm tree!" Roy snapped.

Ed stared to giggle. Envy looked like someone who was going to explode. And Riza just ignored them, waiting for them to get done so they could move on.

"Why are you all throwing the palm tree-line at my face?!" He yelled. "And I'm NOT gender confused!"

"Reeally? Then what are you?" Roy asked.

Now Ed got interested and Riza also paid a little more attention. After all, if Envy was a girl it would be a little embarrassing to have that fan poster she kissed good night.

"I have absolutely no gender at all!"

Ed's eye twitched while Roy nodded understanding.

"So you're an 'it'..."  
"You damn right I am!" Envy said proudly

"What are you then the most? You can't be fifty - fifty... Or what?" Ed asked.

But before Envy got to answer, the ground under them started to move. It grabbed their feet's and pulled all four of them backwards.

"What the..." Roy started.

"Wrath!" Ed and Envy yelled.

Roy and Riza turned their heads to see what Ed and Envy looked at.

And indeed, they saw Wrath kneeling to the ground. He had transmuted his left right arm into the ground and was now pulling them all towards him, away from the door. The door to the alcohol.

Edward - who felled like he had tried this before - clapped his hands to the moving ground. The reaction was that the ground got normal for some seconds, and they escaped.

Wrath growled and transmuted hit arms into it self.

"Why don't you guys just give up?"

"Give up?" Ed asked with a raised eyebrow."  
"We're four! Your only one!" Envy pointed out.

"Says who?"

Envy, Ed, Riza and Roy looked behind Wrath.

And guessed who they saw, standing together with Wrath?

Greed.

Armstrong.

And...

"Al?" Ed said in an asking tone. He couldn't believe it.

Envy was holding his mouth, trying not to let his rejoiced laugher out.

Roy let out a low "Ouch."

And Riza...Well, she was just being Riza.

"Al, how could you?!" Ed asked.

"Sorry brother. It really wasn't my fault."  
"Then who was it them?!"

"I think you know..."

--

Ed bent his neck and looked up with an angry look.

"Okay, you're taking it to far!" He yelled.

Who was he talking to?  
"Don't try acting like you don't know who I'm talking to!"  
Could he be trying to talk with somebody? Somebody who really wasn't there?  
"Your damn right I am! My brother would never betray me like that! Every FullMetal Alchemist fan can tell you that! This is way out of character!"

"He's actually right..." Roy agreed.

"It is too weird..." Greed said.

"Even more weirder than the stuff with Pride and Gluttony..." Wrath joined and so did the others.

There was a long silence.

Then, like a light from above, the all realized that it had to go that way. Because it was a curse, for all those who had left the party. (Expect for Dante and Thomas, because they were out shopping or stuff).

It was meant to happen, and they all understood now.

--

"We've talked enough." Wrath said.  
"Hey!" Envy yelled. "That's MY English line in episode 48!"

"Whatever. The alcohol is mine."

"Don't think so!" Envy had gotten a mad look in his eyes. Not angry mad, but psycho mad.

He looked at the others.  
"Don't let them pass!"  
"I thought it was us who was in the military..." Riza mumbled.

Roy stepped forward, raised his arms and said in a high voice "You shall not pass!"

Everyone went a little quite.

"Uhm..." Al started.

"Shh kiddo!" Greed said. "I think I hear a hobbit somewhere."  
Wrath rolled his eyes.  
"Armstrong, take him down. Everyone! ATTAAACK!!" And they moved quickly forward.

Roy - who know was in the front line - squealed and ran behind Riza.

Ed stared at him. "What the f..."

"Ed!! Look at your real problem!!" Envy yelled as he took some fast steps forwards to meet the enimy.

Ed followed him.

Envy faced Wrath and Ed faced... Al.

From the side, they could hear Armstrong sniff. "Oh, the great bond between brothers, teared apart in a fight!" Then he got bussy running, when a sudden fire exploded in front of him.

Somewhere in the basement they could here Riza yell "**Your even worse than Roy and Havoc together! Back off pimp!**" Then there was some loud gunfire.

Wrath, Ed, Envy og Al sweat dropped and then concentraited on each other.

Envy smiled a cruel smile. "Oh, how I enjoy beating you up..." He said as he looked at Wrath, who got a little unsecure.

"Uhm, Envy?"  
Envy turned his head and looked at Ed.  
"What?"  
"Could we trade?"

"Why?"  
"Uhm, because..." Ed looked a little at his younger brother. "I really don't wanna hurt my brother."  
"Now, you two always spare with each other and he betrayed you! It would only be fair if you gave him a lesson and-!"

He didn't get to say more, before a part of the stone wall had transformed into a giant fist and smashed Envy, so he flew into Ed and they both fell to the ground.

Wrath laughed as he ran over to the door with Al behind him. The opened it and stepped in.

Envy and Ed got up on their knees, and turned.

"NOOOOOO!!" Envy yelled.

"Haha!! See ya suckaa!!" Wrath laughed as he closed the door.

A second after Riza, Roy, Greed and Armstrong arrived.

"Who won?" Roy asked.

"Wrath..." Ed mumbled.

Envy didn't say anything or moved. He was in shock. He just sat on his knees, staring at the door... Seing all the hope vanish...

Ed looked at them.

"Why aren't you guyes fighting?" He asked.

"Well you see, we figured out that it didn't matter if we battled. It was actually only the battle between you guys and Wrath that mattered." Roy said.

"And I only safe these muscles to the most important moments!" Armstrong said.

Ed and Roy looked weird at him.  
"What a lie..." They mumbled.

There were some pling pling sounds, as Greed pulled bullets out of his head, with Riza still pointing her gun at him, in case he didn't keep distance.

Ed looked at Envy, who still were just staring at the door.

"I don't understand... I don't understand..." The green haired keep repeating to himself...

Then there was a BAM!

The door slammed open and out flew Wrath and Al.

"AL!" Ed yelled and ran over to help his brother.

Envy jumped up.

"Wrath!! What did you do?!"

Wrath rubbed his hurted head and just pointed at the door.

And in the door stood...

Roy narrowed his eyes.

"Hughes?"

"Hello everyone!" Hughes said cheerfully.

"What are you doing here?!" They all asked - expect Wrath and Al who was too dizzy.

"Well, the host put me here in case any one would be so smart to find the alcohol. And those who found it, would keep it." Hughes said.

"But..." Riza started, but Greed interrupted.

"We're two parts!! And I ain't freaking sharing!"

Hughes looked a little at them.

"Well, the host did have a plan, if this kind of thing would happen." He said.

"What plan?" Envy asked. Everyone looked interested at Hughes.

Hughes grinned.  
"We're gonna have a tournament!"

What kind of tournament is Hughes talking about?  
Is Al really gonna keep betraying Ed?

Who _is_ the host?

Don't miss the next chapter!

* * *

**Me:** ED, YOU'RE FREAKING IDIOT! YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME IN THE STORY!! YOU'RE RUIN IT!!

**Ed:** YOU ASKED FOR IT! WHY DID AL BETRAY ME?!

**Me:** BECAUSE IT WOULD ONLY MAKE SENSE LIKE THAT!

**Ed:** WOULD NOT!!  
**Me:** WOULD TOO!!

**Envy:** Gezz, would you stop yelling already?

**Hughes:** YES! I'm in the story! Finally!!

**Roy:** Why did it take so long to update?  
**Riza:** Because her computer broke down.

**Roy:** Ooooh... _- tries to look innocent -_

**Me:** _-sobbing-_

**Ed:** Holy shit, the author is crying!

**Envy:** That never happened before!  
**Riza&Roy&Hughes:** ED, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW?!

**Ed:** N-nothing! I swear!

**Envy:** Hey! What is it?!

**Me:** I'm gonna go to a tournament tomorrow! And my leg is hurting so badly! :'(

**Envy:** You just smash them all up!

**Me:** ... I don't think that's allowed...

Anyway, remember to review! :D


	10. 1 Competition

**1. Competition.**

Hughes had lead them all up from the basement to the party, where the first competition would appear. As they got ready, people started to gather around them. Even Gluttony and King Bradly stopped singing 'Hips Don't Lie' and joined all the others to see what was going on.  
Hughes had cleared an area - with fence and everything - and in the middle of it there was a table and three chairs. Moving along the fence was placed a bench on each side of the table. A bench for Wrath's team and a bench for Ed and Envy's team.

Hughes stepped up on a chair and cleared his throat.

"Okay, listen up everybody! The challenge – Ah, it's not loud enough. King Bradly, may I have the micro? Thank you. Okay, the challenge is: The silence game! You each have to pick one person to represent your team. This person mustn't make any noise at all. The slightest sound and the other team have won. You got two minutes to pick your 'fighter'."

Envy, Ed, Roy and Riza immediately stuck their heads together, and so did Wrath's team. While the two teams where whispering with each other, Hughes jumped down from the chair and explained to the rest of the party what was going on.

"Don't pick Ed! He would never be able to stay quiet for long!"

Ed's head shotted up.

"Shut up Winry!!" Then a hand pulled him down again, so he join their conversation again.

Yet again Hughes was on the chair.

"Times up! Who are the fighters?"

All stared expectations fully on the two teams. From Wraths team stepped...

"Greed!" Yelled Hughes and the crowd cheered.

From Envy and Ed's team stepped...

"Roy!"

The whole building almost jumped from the loud fangirl squealing.

"Roy and Greed. Take your seats." Hughes said and gestured to the two chairs on the other side of the table.

They did as they were told to.

"Come on Greed!! You have been in a cell for centuries! You know how to be quiet!!" Wrath yelled and a lot of people joined and backed Greed up.

"Colonel Mustang is too hot!" A fangirl screamed and the others squealed with her. Roy smirked and some of the ladies swooned.

This were the reason why most of the men where on Greed's side, including Havoc who yet again had lost his harem. They where all with the other ladies, trying to reach over the fence and touch the Colonel.

"Remember what the price is if we lose, Alchemy idiot!" Envy yelled. Riza just sat calmly on the bench, like she could care less. You can't say Ed and Envy did.

"Yearh! Just imaging Riza is looking for you with paperwork!" Ed yelled.

Roy tensed up a bit and looked slightly towards Riza. He saw a short death glare, but then it was gone.

"Attention!" Hughes yelled.

"I'll be the judge! Remember! Even a scramble from the chair can mean that you lose. Ready? Begin!!"

All got quiet, so they could hear if Greed or Roy did any sound. There were total silence. The two teams had sat down, but Wrath and Envy soon jumped up and started to walk from side to side, as they got more and more nervous. Hughes kept a close eye on Greed and Roy. Neither of them said anything or moved.

"Is there a time line?" Envy mumbled, since this could take maybe forever.

"Oh, and by the way..." Hughes started as he reached down in the pocket, and out he took...

"Have you guys seen these new pictures of Elysia? Isn't she adorable?! Look, here she's _backing_ a mud** cake**. Isn't she talented? And here she's-"

Everybody sweat dropped. Wrath bite down his lip. This was bad. Greed had never been out for this kind of... torture. He might not take it.

Also Envy and Ed got worried. What if Mustang couldn't take it?  
It was clear that the competition had gotten intense. Greed were biting hard down on his tongue, so he didn't started to yell out in frustration and Roy hold hard down on the chair. And all a long Hughes just continued.

"She's so **cute**! I bet you all want a child as cute as_ she is_. But you have to get a wife first, it's all so wonderful. Look, here she's _drawing_ a **horse**! She have gave the drawing to me. She is just so-"

Greed moved. He was about to stand up and yell at Hughes.

"Greed! **Noooooooo-oo-oooo!**" Wrath yelled. Greed took a deep breath.  
"Will you stop it already?! Some of us are not that busy with getting a wife! Give it a rest!"

Everybody gasped and stared, somebody moved a hand up to their mouth for hiding the shock on the face.

"And we have winner!" Hughes exclaimed.

"Wrath's team won the first competition! Congratulations!"

People cheered and clapped their hands. Expect for Ed and Envy. Envy looked at Roy with a murderous look in his eyes.

"I. Kill. You!!"

"Envy, don't!" Ed yelled as he tried to hold the crazy Homunculus back and Riza stepped forward to protect Roy.

Roy hid his face in his hands.

"I-I don't what happened. I just... I couldn't take it." He sobbed.

Riza clapped him on the shoulder. "I know Colonel. I know." She said comforting.

Hughes spoke again. "But don't get to excited! There are more competitions coming up! The next one will appear outside!"

-

What are the next competition?  
Who will win it?  
Does Envy kill Roy?

Find out in the next chapter!

* * *

**Me: **Finally I updated!

**Hughes:** It's alive! The story is alive!  
Envy: You f'cking pony! I'll kill you!  
**Roy: **Eeeh!!!

**Riza: **Stand back!  
**Ed: **Envy, don't kill him! We'll be less to fight Wrath! Do it after the competitions!

**Envy:** I want to kill him NOW!!!

**Me:** xD I had fun with this. This was an idea I came up with, when me and my friends played this game. I could totally see Hughes do such thing xD Sorry for the long update, bad gramma, war, and whatever I might be guilty of.

**Ed:** War?  
**Me: **Uhm...

**Ed:** What the hell did you and Envy do in the weekend?!  
**Me: **Nuffin~

**Envy:** But DON'T check the news!


End file.
